Orphan of War | Remember Nothing | The Giant Killer | Girls Just Wanna Have Fun | Return of Callisto | Warrior...Princess...Tramp | Intimate Stranger | Ten Little Warlords | A Solstice Carol | The Xena Scrolls | Here She Comes...Miss Amphipolis | Destiny | The Quest | A Necessary Evil | A Day in the Life | For Him the Bell Tolls | The Execution | Blind Faith | Ulysses | The Price | Lost Mariner | A Comedy of Eros
Orphan of War
While helping a village of centaurs against a warlord named Dagnine, who covets the mythical Ixion Stone that's hidden on centaur land, Xena and Gabrielle encounter Solan, the son Xena gave up to the centaurs to raise ten years prior.
DISCLAIMER: No sleazy warlords who deem it necessary to drink magic elixirs that turn them into scaly centaurs were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
After Xena defends the temple of the Fates from an attack, the Fates grant her wish that she'd never become a warrior. In the new reality they create for her, Xena is engaged and her younger brother is still alive, but many of the warlords she had previously defeated are alive and running free, while Gabrielle is a hardened slave.
DISCLAIMER: Xena's memory was not damaged or....what was I saying?
The Giant Killer
Xena and her old friend Goliath find themselves on opposite sides of a war when Xena decides to join the Israelites in their fight against the Philistines, who have recruited Goliath.
DISCLAIMER: No Bible myths or icons were irreparably mangled during the production of this motion picture.
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Xena and Gabrielle go after the god Bacchus and his followers -- bloodthirsty women known as the Bacchae -- with help from Joxer and the head of Orpheus, whose singing and lyre-playing can lull the Bacchae to sleep. However, Xena and Gabrielle each have close encounters with the Bacchae, and one of them is turned.
DISCLAIMER: No Bloodsucking Bacchae were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, a few Dryads lost their heads.
Return of Callisto
Callisto and her army escape from prison, and immediately seek out Xena and Gabrielle. Meanwhile, Gabrielle again runs into her would-be fiancé Perdicas, who proposes.
DISCLAIMER: Although Xena finally conquered her dark nemesis Callisto, it took her weeks to get the sand out of her leather unmentionables.
Princess Diana again requires Xena's help as a plot is hatched to replace Diana with another lookalike, a street rat named Meg, all while Diana's father, King Lias, lays dying.
DISCLAIMER: Neither Xena nor her remarkably coincidental identical twin, Diana, were harmed during the production of this motion picture. Meg, however, suffered minor injuries while preparing Aardvark nuggets for King Lias.
With help from Ares, Callisto switches bodies with Xena, leaving Callisto free to destroy Xena's do-gooder reputation and seek revenge on Xena's friends and family. Meanwhile, Xena, in Callisto's body, must convince Hades of her true identity so she can return to Earth and stop Callisto.
DISCLAIMER: Argo was not harmed during the prooduction of this motion picture. However, she is undergoing intensive psychotherapy to help her work through her resentment and feelings of distrust toward Xena.
Ten Little Warlords
Angry with Ares for messing with his souls, Hades steals the god of war's sword, which is the key to Ares's godhood. Xena, still in Callisto's body, must help a now-mortal Ares retrieve his sword because without a god of war, people become hostile to each other, even peaceful Gabrielle.
DISCLAIMER: No one was harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Xena's ability to recover her body was severely impeded by Lucy Lawless' unexpected mishap.
A Solstice Carol
After a grumpy old king bans winter solstice celebrations and threatens to evict the occupants of an orphanage, Xena and Gabrielle team up with a toymaker named Senticles to change the king's mind and bring holiday cheer to the orphanage.
DISCLAIMER: Senticles was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several chimneys are in dire need of repair.
The Xena Scrolls
In 1940s Macedonia, the descendants of Xena, Gabrielle, and Joxer unearth the Xena Scrolls, which chronicle Xena and Gabrielle's adventures together. However, they also unearth Ares, who had been entombed with the scrolls and could only be released by a descendant of Xena's.
DISCLAIMER: No Hollywood producers were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Here She Comes...Miss Amphipolis
Salmoneus summons Xena and asks her to go undercover at the Miss Known World pageant, where someone is trying to sabotage the contestants and start a war between the contestants' sponsors.
DISCLAIMER: No ribbons were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several experienced severe motion sickness.
After Xena's mortally wounded defending some villagers, she asks an injured Gabrielle to take her to the healer Niklio on Mount Nessus. On the way there, she reflects on her past, particularly meeting Julius Caesar and being betrayed by him.
DISCLAIMER: Julius Caesar was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, the Producers deny any responsibility for any unfortunate acts of betrayal causing some discomfort.
While taking Xena's body home to Amphipolis, Gabrielle runs into the Amazons, who convince her to give Xena an Amazon funeral pyre and inform her that Queen Melosa is dead, making Gabrielle the new queen. However, complicating matters is Autolycus, King of Thieves, who has been taken over by Xena's spirit, seeking to resurrect herself with ambrosia, food of the gods.
DISCLAIMER: Xena's body was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, it took weeks for Autolycus to get his swagger back.
A Necessary Evil
After rogue Amazon Velasca gets her hands on ambrosia and becomes a god, Xena and Gabrielle reluctantly recruit Callisto, who, having been freed from the Underworld by Hera, became an immortal.
DISCLAIMER: The reputation of the Amazon Nation was not harmed despite Velasca's overly radical adherance to an otherwise valid belief system.
A Day in the Life
While contending with a warlord and his army, Xena is asked by two villagers, Hower and Minya, to defend the remnants of their village from a giant. Meanwhile, Gabrielle keeps trying to get the upper hand on Xena.
DISCLAIMER: No Slippery Eels were harmed during the production of this motion picture despite their reputation as a fine delicacy in select cultures of the known world.
For Him the Bell Tolls
When the marriage of Prince Sarpedon and Princess Ileandra will mean the demolition of one of Aphrodite's temples, Aphrodite schemes to break up the couple before they can marry. She casts a spell on Joxer so that when a bell rings, he changes from his bumbling self to a smoothtalking hero, and when a bell rings again, he reverts back.
DISCLAIMER: The producers wish to acknowledge the inspiration of Danny Kaye and pay tribute to the classic motion picture Court Jester.
After being summoned by Meleager the Mighty, Xena and Gabrielle learn that Meleager is on trial for murder, and that Meleager is unsure of his own innocence as he was drunk the night the crime occured.
DISCLAIMER: By popular demand The Executioner will bring back his comfortable lightweight cotton-flax blend robe in a variety of spring colors.
Palemon, a young warrior out to make a name for himself, challenges Xena to a fight to the death, but during the fight, Xena's blinded by sumac oil. However, Xena forgoes treatment in favor of saving Gabrielle, who's been kidnapped and forced to marry a dead king.
DISCLAIMER: Once again, Gabrielle's luck with men was harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena and Gabrielle meet Ulysses, King of Ithaca, and help him return home and reclaim his kingdom, all while battling pirates, sirens, and Poseidon, God of the Sea.
DISCLAIMER: Despite Gabrielle's incessant hurling, Ulysses' ship was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
When Xena and Gabrielle stop to help an Athenian army against a tribe of cannibals known as the Horde, Gabrielle begins to worry that Xena is reverting to her ruthless old ways.
DISCLAIMER: To show sympathy for the Horde, "kaltaka" was only served upon request during the production of this motion picture.
After a shipwreck, a seasick Gabrielle is pulled out of the water by Cecrops -- an immortal cursed by Poseidon to wander the seas forever -- and immediately becomes trapped aboard his ship as anyone who tries to leave dies. They're soon joined by Xena, who tries to help Cecrops free himself from the curse.
DISCLAIMER: Cecrops' Joie de Vivre was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
A Comedy of Eros
While Xena tries to stop Draco from rounding up Hestian virgins and selling them as slaves to finance his army, Cupid's infant son, Bliss, wreaks havoc with his father's bow and arrows. Among his random victims are Xena, Draco, and Gabrielle.
DISCLAIMER: No cherries were harmed in the making of this motion picture.