The Furies | Been There, Done That | The Dirty Half Dozen | The Deliverer | Gabrielle's Hope | The Debt I | The Debt II | King of Assassins | Warrior...Priestess...Tramp | The Quill is Mightier... | Maternal Instincts | The Bitter Suite | One Against an Army | Forgiven | King Con | When in Rome... | Forget Me Not | Fins, Femmes, and Gems | Tsunami | Vanishing Act | Sacrifice I | Sacrifice II

The Furies
3x01 -- The Furies

As part of a plan to get Xena to join him, Ares has the Furies curse Xena with insanity. In order to become sane again, Xena must avenge her father's murder by killing her mother, but instead, comes up with another plan.
DISCLAIMER: Xena's sanity was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. The Furies, however, will be opening their own lap-dancing variety show off-off-off Broadway soon.

Been There, Done That
3x02 -- Been There, Done That

After Joxer puts himself in the middle of a feud between two rival families and gets killed for his troubles, Xena awakens the next day to find him alive and well, leading to the discovery that the day is repeating itself.
DISCLAIMER: The rooster was not harmed during the production of this motion picture, although his feathers were severely ruffled. However, a little gel and mousse straightened out the mess.
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The Dirty Half Dozen
3x03 -- The Dirty Half Dozen

After Ares gives a warlord weapons and armor stolen from Hephaestus, Xena recruits four criminals -- a master thief, an assassin, a man-hating slave trader, and a chauvinist gladiator -- from her past to steal them back.
DISCLAIMER: No Convicts were reformed during the production of this motion picture. Can't we all just get along?
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The Deliverer
3x04 -- The Deliverer

Xena and Gabrielle travel to Britannia, where Xena prepares to battle Caesar. Meanwhile, Gabrielle meets a priest named Khrafstar, but neither he nor the "one god" he serves are what they seem, and Gabrielle may pay a price for trusting him.
DISCLAIMER: Gabrielle was slightly well-done during the production of this motion picture. However, the producers would like to recommend a zesty barbeque sauce to bring out the full flavor of this episode.

Gabrielle's Hope
3x05 -- Gabrielle's Hope

Still in Britannia, Gabrielle learns she's pregnant, and within a few hours, gives birth to a daughter she names Hope. Despite the fact that Hope's father is the evil Dahak, Gabrielle insists her child can be raised to be good, but Xena has her doubts.
DISCLAIMER: Despite witnessing the bizarre and somewhat disturbing birth of Gabrielle's Hope, no farm animals were harmed or traumatized during the production of this motion picture.

The Debt I
3x06 -- The Debt I

After Xena receives a mysterious message, she prepares to leave Gabrielle behind and head east to China, but first tells Gabrielle about her debt to Lao Ma, a kind woman who saved Xena's life during her warlord days.
DISCLAIMER: No frock tarts were killed during the production of this motion picture although they wish they had been.
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The Debt II
3x07 -- The Debt II

After Gabrielle thwarts Xena's assassination attempt, she pleads with Ming T'ien to spare Xena's life, while also learning more about Lao Ma from Xena.
DISCLAIMER: Xena and Gabrielle's relationship suffered another blow (although Gabrielle doesn't know it yet) during the production of this motion picture.
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King of Assassins
3x08 -- King of Assassins

With Xena away on business, it's up to Gabrielle, Joxer, and Autolycus to stop Joxer's lookalike brother Jett from assassinating Cleopatra.
DISCLAIMER: Due to the infliction of a severe wedgie, Joxer was slightly uncomfortable but not seriously harmed during the production of this motion picture.
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3x09 -- Warrior...Priestess...Tramp

After meeting yet another Xena lookalike, a Hestian priestess named Leah, Xena and Gabrielle must work to stop a plot to take over Leah's temple and kill the other priestesses, and complicating matters is the return of another lookalike, Meg the street rat.
DISCLAIMER: Despite another Xena lookalike, the gene pool (or rather gene puddle) was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
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The Quill is Mightier...
3x10 -- The Quill is Mightier...

Just as Gabrielle decides to try her hand at fiction, Aphrodite, jealous of the notoriety Xena's been getting due to Gabrielle's writings, enchants one of Gabrielle's scrolls so that whatever Gabrielle writes, happens. The result is Xena leaves Gabrielle to go fishing, Ares and Aphrodite become mortal, and Gabrielle and Joxer find themselves having to fend off a hoarde of barbarians.
DISCLAIMER: No naked Gabrielles were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
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Maternal Instincts
3x11 -- Maternal Instincts

While Xena reunites with her son Solan, Gabrielle's evil daughter Hope returns and teams up with Callisto, resulting in tragic consequences for both Xena and Gabrielle.
DISCLAIMER: Xena and Gabrielle's relationship was harmed during the production of this motion picture.

The Bitter Suite
3x12 -- The Bitter Suite

Grieving over their recent losses, Xena and Gabrielle are each visited by someone from their past, before winding up in the musical land of Illusia, where secrets are revealed and friendships are mended.
DISCLAIMER: The musical genre was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. In fact, the Producers sincerely hope you were A-MUSE-D by this episode.

One Against an Army
3x13 -- One Against an Army

After Gabrielle accidentally injures herself and then gets hit with a poisoned arrow, Xena tries to get the antidote for her while also fending off an entire Persian army by herself.
DISCLAIMER: Gabrielle's ankle was harmed during the production of this motion picture.
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3x14 -- Forgiven

While trying to recover an urn stolen from the temple of Apollo, Xena and Gabrielle encounter a young woman named Tara who wants to renounce her bad ways and replace Gabrielle as Xena's sidekick.
DISCLAIMER: No street-talking, cat-fighting, barroom-brawling juvenile delinquents were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
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King Con
3x15 -- King Con

After Joxer wins big at a casino and then is conned out of his money, he's beaten up by the casino owner's son, who's determined to get the winnings back. In revenge, Xena and Gabrielle recruit the men who conned Joxer in the first place and go after the casino owner and his son.
DISCLAIMER: No Con Men were conned during the production of this motion picture.
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When in Rome...
3x16 -- When in Rome...

Xena and Gabrielle travel to Rome to arrange a prisoner exchange with Caesar, while in the process, Gabrielle suffers a crisis of morality upon realizing that they may end up condemning a possible murderer to death.
DISCLAIMER: Caesar's Palace was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Crassus and the gladiators went down for the count.
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Forget Me Not
3x17 -- Forget Me Not

Troubled by her memories, Gabrielle visits the temple of Mnemosyne, goddess of memory, in the hopes of wiping the slate clean. In the process, it is revealed how she was able to beat Xena to China and thwart her assassination attempt.
DISCLAIMER: Xena and Joxer were not forgotten during production of this motion picture.
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Fins, Femmes, and Gems
3x18 -- Fins, Femmes, and Gems

In order to keep Xena and company off her trail, Aphrodite sprays them with a perfume that causes them to obsess over whatever they're looking at. The result: Xena becomes obsessed with catching a big fish; Gabrielle, having been looking at her reflection, obsesses over herself; while Joxer's obsession is that he's Attis the Ape-man.
DISCLAIMER: Joxer's dignity was slightly harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Gabrielle's pink nightie was restored to its original condition.
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3x19 -- Tsunami

After Xena and Gabrielle follow Autolycus onto a ship, where he's posing as a prisoner to gain access to a diamond mine, a tsunami strikes, capsizing the ship.
DISCLAIMER: No Cast or Crew were singing "Tanks For The Memories" during the production of this motion picture. However, the phrase "Strike the Set" was given new meaning.
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Vanishing Act
3x20 -- Vanishing Act

After a large statue goes missing, Autolycus is immediately blamed, but he insists that this time, he didn't do it. So, with help from Xena and Gabrielle, he sets out to steal it back, and in doing so, reclaim his title as the King of Thieves.
DISCLAIMER: Upon completion of the filming of this episode, Autolycus' Scuba Gear was placed on display at the Athens Diving Institute for the education and enjoyment of future generations to come.
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Sacrifice I
3x21 -- Sacrifice

While trying to rescue Gabrielle's childhood friend Seraphin from a cult, Xena and Gabrielle learn that the cult worships Hope, and that Hope will soon be reborn. Meanwhile, Callisto returns and once again teams up with Gabrielle's evil daughter, while Ares calls upon a favor of Gabrielle.
DISCLAIMER: No Pulsing Cocoons were harmed during the production of this motion picture. What was witnessed was purely a re-enactment.

Sacrifice II
3x22 -- Sacrifice II

With Hope reborn, and looking like Gabrielle, Xena seeks out the Hind's Blood Dagger (HTLJ: Armageddon Now, Part 2), the only thing that can kill Gabrielle's evil spawn. Meanwhile, Hope and Ares join forces, while Callisto, disgusted with this development, switches sides, hoping Xena will finally give her the one thing she desires: oblivion.
DISCLAIMER: Gabrielle finally went off the deep end during the production of this motion picture.

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